Unthinkable Evil

I first read about the Gosnell case on Thursday evening.

It completely broke my heart.

I wanted to weep, to grieve the loss of those precious children and their mothers. But no tears came. I was just dumbfounded that anything like this could happen. It was surreal. So evil, so heinous, so unthinkably terrible. I thought, “Surely, I’m dreaming this and it’s just a horrible nightmare. When I wake up, all will be right again with the world.”

And then I realized that this heartache I was experiencing for these precious babies was familiar to me. I had felt it many times before when reading about abortion. I realized that horrors like this are happening by the thousands every day in our country.

And it’s completely legal.

And it’s supported by our government.

A pit forms in my stomach when I think about the fact that my hard-earned dollars are used to pay for these murders, these so-called “medical operations.”

And we, as a country, claim that it is a woman’s right to her own body.

It’s her right to let a doctor kill her child.

So long as the baby is inside her. As soon as the baby has moved the 6 inches to outside the womb, it becomes murder.

Do you know what? I do not place the majority of the blame on these mothers. I understand that their lives, their situations, are more complex than I can realize. I understand that a baby is a huge responsibility, that being pregnant for 9 months is certainly very inconvenient, that she didn't want to get pregnant in the first place. It is a heartbreaking situation; but it only becomes more heartbreaking when she chooses the option that our culture shoves in her face,  telling her it’s the best and only option.

The solution our culture offers these troubled and worried and confused and lonely women is to terminate the pregnancy. To remove the fetus. All of the medical jargon sounds so much better than “murdering an infant.”

I’m not going to go into a discussion of why abortion is wrong. I will let any article about the Gosnell case speak for me on that point. I just want to share with you a prayer that I've been praying non-stop since Thursday night.

I am begging the Lord to use the horrendous story of Gosnell’s crimes to open the eyes of Americans.

I think it’s safe to say that the vast majority of people who read about the case will be horrified, will agree that Gosnell should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, will be outraged that such an atrocity has been going on so long and yet has only begun to cause a ripple in the news.

And I hope it causes all those who claim to be pro-choice to rethink their position. To realize that there is no difference between what Gosnell has done and what abortionists do every day to younger babies.

There are two logical conclusions that pro-choice Americans can reach after rethinking their position based on the Gosnell case.

First, it is possible that, in order to remain consistent and maintain their positions, some may claim that post-birth abortion (infanticide) should be made legal. In fact, some already have come to this conclusion. 

I hope and pray that very few people join that camp of thinking. It will only lead to acceptance of killing many other groups of people, including those with disabilities.

The second conclusion that people may reach is that abortion is wrong, no matter the gestational age of the baby.

Oh, Lord, may this thinking overwhelm the minds of America’s people!

Here are a couple of my favorite pro-life links, if you’d like to consider this further.

Can I Live—a song by Nick Cannon. Makes me cry. Beautiful, powerful, and true. http://vimeo.com/25303505

180 Movie—a 33 minute documentary that explores the similarities between abortion today and the Holocaust. Very, very difficult to watch, but also very powerful. http://www.180movie.com/

3 things

So. This is a very random, very short post.

1. I'm sorry for being such a sporadic blogger. This blog is basically a journal, and all of my diaries have had very long gaps between entries. So I guess that just means I'm consistent. Or lazy...but let's stick with consistent :)
2. Biology is very tough. I thought chemistry was going to be horrible, and then ended up loving it. I thought I loved biology, and it's turning out to be the hardest class I've ever taken. Life's kinda funny like that, isn't it?
3. "My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty. There's nothing my God cannot do." Those familiar words sum up my feelings at this particular moment. Yesterday was quite a difficult day for me, but today felt like drinking an ice-cold glass of water on the hottest day of summer. Today was uplifting. Today was beautiful. I sang, laughed, played, danced, and felt loved by friends and family. Yeah, today was definitely a blessing.

Well...here I go; gotta study some oxidative phosphorylation. Wish me luck!

The Hobbit

AHHHH!!!

I absolutely. Can't. Wait. It looks so good, so epic, so wonderful, so perfect. I'm so excited.

I was too young to appreciate The Lord of the Rings movies when they came out; now I've got a second chance, and I will enjoy it with all my might.

Oh, and here's a grand picture that was my laptop background for a good while. I love it. 

Emma, by Jane Austen

This book is so, so good. I absolutely love it. I cannot put it down. One of the things I like best about it (besides the wonderful characters *cough* Mr. Knightley *cough*) is that it is chock-full of the funniest quotes! Seriously, there have been probably 10 different passages that I have wanted to write down because they were just too delightfully witty. So, when I came across this gem, I had to post it.

The stage is set with the exhausting Mrs. Elton talking with the ever-gentlemanly, ever-dashing Mr. Knightley. They are discussing a strawberry-picking party to be held at his estate, Donwell. ("Donwell was famous for its strawberry beds." :)

"Oh! now you are looking very sly. But consider;--you need not be afraid of delegating power to me. I am no young lady on her preferment. Married women, you know, may be safely authorized. It is my party. Leave it all to me. I will invite your guests."

"No,"--he calmly replied,--"there is but one married woman in the world whom I can allow to invite what guests she pleases to Donwell, and that one is--"

"--Mrs. Weston, I suppose," interrupted Mrs. Elton, rather mortified.

"No--Mrs. Knightley;--and, till she is in being, I will manage such matters myself."

Read. This. Book. It is one of the cleverest books I've ever read. You will love it.

In Christ Alone

I think I have another post titled that, so hopefully this doesn't confuse anyone. I had to use it, since it is the perfect summation of what this post will be about.

Anyway, here goes.

It all started with a bad class picture. I teach the preschool class at our homeschooling co-op, and a couple Fridays ago they took class pictures. I was not prepared for them to take teachers' pictures, or to be in the picture of the whole class. Needless to say, I opted for comfy rather than stylish, clothing that day, and my hair was...well, let's just say less-than-perfect. I shrugged it off, though. Smile. Flash. Done.

Fast-forward two weeks later when the pictures arrived. A few of the thoughts that ran through my mind when I first saw them: "Gross." "Yuck." "Ew." "I am ugly."

Not a happy day. After laughing (but mostly crying) about the pictures, my sister and mom attempted to make me feel pretty by showing me some less-unflattering pictures of myself. Yet, I was in such a low spot that I found flaws in all of them. I never claimed to be photogenic, and these new horrible class pictures proved it (in my mind). Plus, I was freaking out because I still haven't taken senior pictures yet--and I had already been anxious about how they would turn out, without more proof that my face doesn't like cameras.

Anyway, I got through the day by fixing my hair and doing my make-up. I felt better, but really was just distracted. All morning on Saturday I was in a funk about it, without realizing it. I found myself crying on my bed, thinking that no one would ever want to marry me; I'm ugly, not funny, not creative, not artistic, not musical, blah blah blah. So I went downstairs and started talking with my beautiful, wise mother.

I wish I could remember every word of the conversation, but I can't. I told her that I didn't understand why I had so many sweet friends, and my fear of no one marrying me. I couldn't understand why anyone would really like being around me. (I'll just interject here that I don't usually let a bad picture do this to me, but the Lord knew what I needed--just wait.) In her gentle, motherly way, she helped me see that this wasn't true, and told me that she was my #1 fan. "I don't think anyone can love you as much as I do," she said.

We proceeded to talk about what the real problem was, why I was crying. Then I realized something so big, that my throat seized up in that really uncomfortable crying thing.

"Mom, I think I'm fighting to believe that I really am fearfully and wonderfully made. Satan and my own flesh are telling me that I'm not--but God doesn't make mistakes. I am beautiful, because He made me and I am His."

Okay, so I didn't say it that clearly. I was crying so it sounded all froggy and it was choppy and not as eloquent. But those words were what I was feeling.

That was thing #1 that I realized.

Thing #2 was that Christ is All. I'll explain.

As I was telling my mom that I didn't understand why people would like me, she said, basically, that I wasn't supposed to know. He is the one who works every good thing in me, so I cannot make a list of "Katie's Good Qualities"--then my life would become trying to live up to the list and make it longer, instead of just abiding in Christ and living in Him. In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my life, my strength, my song.

Oh, how sweet it was to remember that I am not my own! That I am merely a fallen sinner, saved by His incredible grace; a faithless woman loved by an ever faithful Savior. Apart from Him, I can do nothing.

Thing #3:

My mom graciously and sweetly reminded me that God does not withhold any good thing from His children. If giving me a husband is what is good for me, the Lord will give one to me. If He doesn't give one to me, it is best.

Well, that's about all I have time for for now. Chemistry class calls. I'm sure I will fall back into those same questions and feeling down about myself, but He is always faithful, and will bring me back to this place of contentment and satisfaction in Him.

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ! (I'll post the rest of the lyrics to that song later :)

Light

As I was getting ready for the first day of classes this morning, I read today's Morning & Evening by Spurgeon. As soon as I read the verse at the top, I knew it was perfect for me today. Here it is:

"In the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world." ~Philippians 2:15

We use lights to make manifest. A Christian man should so shine in his life, that a person could not live with him a week without knowing the gospel. His conversation should be such that all who are about him should clearly perceive Whose he is, and Whom he serves; and should see the image of Jesus reflected in his daily actions. Lights are intended for guidance. We are to help those around us who are in the dark. We are to hold forth to them the Word of life. We are to point sinners to the Saviour, and the weary to a divine resting-place. Men sometimes read their Bibles, and fail to understand them; we should be read, like Philip, to instruct the inquirer in the meaning of God's Word, the way of salvation, and the life of godliness. Lights are also used for warning. On our rocks and shoals a light-house is sure to be erected. Christian men should know that there are many false lights shown everywhere in the world, and therefore the right light is needed. The wreckers of Satan are always abroad, tempting the ungodly to sin under the name of pleasure; they hoist the wrong light, be it ours to put up the true light upon every dangerous rock, to point out every sin, and tell what it leads to, that so we may be clear of the blood of all men, shining as lights in the world. Lights also have a very cheering influence, and so have Christians. A Christian ought to be a comforter, with kind words on his lips, and sympathy in his heart; he should carry sunshine wherever he goes, and diffuse happiness around him.

Gracious Spirit dwell with me;
I myself would gracious be,
And with words that help and heal
Would thy life in mine reveal,
And with actions bold and meek
Would for Christ my Saviour speak.


Those words set a flame in me that is burning to live this life for my beloved Jesus. One of my favorite parts is, "he should carry sunshine wherever he goes, and diffuse happiness around him." I want to carry sunshine. I want to show what joy is like; it's so much better than the transient happiness that this world can offer.

chemistry and captain america

Hola! Well, this is gonna be short because I am going to try to be going to sleep before 11 tonight. We'll see if that happens. But I wanted to inform you all of something big. huge. massive even.

Actually, it's really not a very big deal at all.

But anyway, my first chemistry class ever took place yesterday, and my second one will happen tomorrow. As well as my first chemistry lab.

And you know what? I think I'm going to survive this class. Now, I'm not saying I'm sure I'll live through it, I just feel like there is hope. I mean, I didn't take high school chem and now I'm running head-long into college chemistry? What am I thinking?! But actually, the professor is very nice, very approachable, and she said that this class is not going to be that bad. She said to expect something more like high school chemistry 2. I can handle that. I think.

On second though--scratch that. I know I can handle that. Not of my own strength, but the Lord is my strength, and through Christ I can do all things. Even chemistry.

Oh--and I've been thanking Him for blessing me with a professor I like. I was pretty nervous about that aspect of it, and He totally provided someone I really, really like.

And now, I'd like you all to meet someone, if you haven't already. His name is Steve Rogers:

Also known as...

...Captain America. He is awesome.

That is all.